A list of things no one will tell you before it's too late

Here are some nuggets of gold that my mommy friends have shared with me in the past seven months.

• Some women inadvertently go #2 while delivering. There's a solution, it's called an enema. Or not eating.
  
• During pregnancy, parts of your belly skin may go numb.
• Constructing answers to the Vitally Important List of Questions you bring to your OB each month will require very few of her brain cells.
  
• Asian women almost always score on the high end of the glucose tolerance test, just because.
• Post-delivery, you will find it a relief to wear a contraption that closely resembles all of the following: underwear, icepack, depends, salami sandwich.
• While the nurse isn't looking, snag as many bottles of topical anesthetic spray as you can, and keep one in your purse in case one day you find yourself in a public place, unable to walk due to the pain.
• You may not be able go #1 afterward and will need a catheter.
• Alternately, you will not be able to control your #1 afterward and may have an accident on your husband.
• Nursing is harder than squeezing a big head out of your lady parts.
• The breastfeeding class is the most critical class for your husband to attend. And he will protest.
  
• Reconvening the Procedure after your recovery is more painful than the first time.

That is all for now. More of my own nuggets to come, I'm sure.